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Small Steps are OK!

It’s been over a month since my last blog post and I can only apologize, my mental health has been slowly declining over the last few weeks.

Today I managed to get up at 11:30 am and have a shower and do some washing, which might seem like little things and easy to do, but trust me, when every fibre of your being is screaming at you to go back to sleep and ‘what’s the point anyway?’. Those small things are like climbing a mountain.

I’ve felt myself slipping for the last few weeks. It’s not like I haven’t reached out for help, the help just doesn’t seem to care – I’m currently not taking the medication that I am prescribed as I found the side effects too bad. I couldn’t cope with constant nausea and headaches and just feeling generally unwell.

I waited things out as long as I could in the hopes that the sides effects would eventually pass, nut no such luck.

Now on to the story of why I haven’t gotten help yet….

I tried, I rang my GP, they told me to ring Community Mental Health. I rang Community Mental Health. They told me I had been discharged from the system (again, this has happened a few times and I keep being referred back), so they were unable to give me an appointment. I was then told me to ring my CBT Therapist.

So, at my CBT appointment on Monday (14th October) I duly told my therapist what I had been told and he seemed confused by this and wasn’t sure what was going on, so he said he would give them a call and see what was going on.

My next CBT appointment is tomorrow (22nd October), so I’m hoping that I will finally have a solution to the medication issue and can get more help. I feel like I’ve been running in circles and I’m tired of it. I won’t lie if I don’t get any further forward with everything tomorrow, it will be like the Mental Health Care System saying that they don’t care. Truthfully I’m at the lowest I have been in a long time.

If anyone reading this can relate and needs help in a crisis. I recommend @giveusashout in the UK, you can text them on 85258. For anyone outside of the UK, follow the links listed here or check out my previous blog post on helpline and resources here

Erin x

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