So I had my 5th session of CBT on Monday (1st July) . In 5 sessions I’ve learned that I don’t like experiencing negative emotion and that I need to find positive ways to express my emotions – so I haven’t learnt anything I didn’t already know. The realisation I did come to is that I need to learn how to forgive myself for the mistakes I’ve made in the past, in order to move forward.
I’ve been carrying around a lot of shame, anger and guilt for years, over situations that I can’t change, feeling like I’m not normal or not good enough because I’m not like everyone else.
It’s time I start learning how to deal with guilt and shame and learn to forgive myself to be able to move forward with my life. I need to learn to love myself for who I am today, not grieve for the person I wish I had been. (I get the feeling that it’s not going to be easy).
I’m on day 10 of the reduced dose of medication and I honestly don’t know if my mood would of naturally dipped at this time or if it’s caused by the reduced dose of medication. My Birthday is in two days and I had plans to go out, to have fun and right now I’d much rather stay in and watch a movie and have a few drinks in the house with my best friend.