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My Mind is like a high speed train and I want off!

I was supposed to be handing in my leftover medication to the pharmacy today, so that I could start a dispense daily prescription, but I’ll be real with you guys, I didn’t take them in, they aren’t working so I’ve decided to stop taking them – what’s the point in taking something that isn’t working?

I went to my GP this morning, to get an appointment to discuss my not wanting to continue with the medication, there were emergency appointments available, so the GP was going to give me a callback.

The result of that phone call is that my GP wants me to keep taking the medication and he would see me for my review in a month. After that phone call, I cried out of frustration at the situation I find myself in.

There are too many thoughts swirling about in my head, and I need some way to calm them down.

I can’t keep going like this (Nothing has changed in the last eight years) – 3 days of just wanting to sleep and having recurring suicidal thoughts, and now I have that many ideas going through my mind and tasks that I could be doing and I’m tired, but I can’t sleep.

I’m struggling right now to tell the difference between things that have happened in a dream and things that have happened. According to my bank, I spent nearly £50 yesterday, and I have no clue what the hell it was on.

I need my mind to shut up and stop going from thoughts of my family hating me, to what I want to make for dinner, to are people talking about me.

Erin x

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