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I’m getting sick of this rollercoaster!

So my mum is back in the hospital again, since Monday, a blood clot in her lung. I feel sorry for both my parents – they spent their 37th wedding anniversary in the local hospital.

I’ve been visiting her in the afternoons, she’s getting better and will hopefully be home soon, but the doctors are saying she might be on injections for the rest of her life.

This week, I’ve had three days of pretty crappy mood, wondering what the point of life is and Self Harming. I’m now back in an ok-ish mood but am exhausted and want to cry for no reason simultaneously.

I’m starting to get anxious about my 2nd Therapy appointment; it’s at 11 am on Monday. I can’t remember the half of what I talked about in my session three weeks ago, and I’m still debating on if I should come clean and admit that I zoned out for a bit in the last appointment or wait and hope it doesn’t happen again.

It’s like this: I’ll be having a conversation and all these thoughts are going through my mind, and my brain zones out of the discussion and latches on to this random train of thought. Then I’m left not having heard the question and have to either make up an answer and hope that it’s the right one or ask the person to repeat the question (which I hate doing unless it’s a friend or family member).

Erin x

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