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I’m not afraid of the dark, I’m afraid of not being able to find the light again.

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Photo by Bob Clark on Pexels.com

I can say that I have had a pretty good two weeks. I have spent time with friends and family and celebrated my sister’s 30th Birthday.

It hasn’t all been plain sailing these last 2 weeks though, there has been the occasional incident – my being quick to anger, looking back at the situation I had no need to become involved in it, but at the time I felt I was the only person who could help. It eventually led to me becoming a rather unpopular presence in my local shop, so I have been avoiding it because I know if I go in and the person concerned says something to me, I am likely to hit her.

Impulsivity is definitely still an issue for me, I watched my favourite vlogger on youtube and latched onto the idea that I wanted to dye my hair – I’ve now gone from being a brown/blonde to a mix of brown and purple. I managed to fall down the stairs in my friend’s house, whilst dying my hair and have some pretty tender bruising, as a result, wacked my head too and then went to my sisters Birthday Party, had some prosecco and proceeded to sleep for the next 19 hours.

Now I’m awake and bored and have an urge to cry for absolutely no reason, I think my good mood might be coming to an end, I can feel the black clouds rolling in and fogging up my mind, my thoughts are slowing and it scares me. It always scares me, I can’t help but wonder every time ‘Will this be the storm that kills me?’.

Erin x

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