Posted in Uncategorized

A question of Faith…..

As I sit here writing this, the tears are steadily streaming down my face – tears of guilt, of feeling like I’m letting down someone who loves me. 

Up until last week, I was regularly attending church on a Sunday with my aunt. Today I made the jump to finally tell her that I needed to take a break and step back from church to focus on my mental health and getting better and I suppose to figure out what the right path in life is for me.

What might seem like a minor thing – waiting on a text message – is torture for a mind like mine, that sees the worst in every situation. I hate letting people down, if they ask me to do something, I’ll say yes, even if I don’t want to do it as  I can’t stand disappointing people. It’s like I have to make them happy.

Erin x

Posted in Uncategorized

Time to climb my Mountain

I officially started a 5 session course of counselling today, with an independent mental health organisation, whilst I wait for CBT through the NHS.

I am hoping to learn new skills to be able to cope better with my emotions and how I see situations – today I learnt that I Catastrophize and Self-Sabotage. That although I didn’t realise it, things in my childhood have and continue to affect me to this day and that I have yet to accept certain things and forgive myself, to accept that I am good enough even when I make mistakes or mess things up.

Erin x